Thinking about blogging

I recently (re)watched Julie & Julia, starring Amy Adams and Meryl Streep and once again, it got me thinking about blogging.

There's a part in the film where Julie (Adams) writes in her blog, "is anybody out there" or words to that effect, and I so often feel the same way. I feel that when I actually sit down and write this blog that I'm writing for nobody but myself. In fact I think the evidence all points that way - I have no followers nor do I seem to have any comments or views.

I'm sure there are very good reasons for this. Like the fact that I don't blog regularly, or the fact that I don't have a 'specific' topic/title/theme to my blog, which makes it less appealing, as people never really know what to expect. I guess I don't mind that much, but it does make this blogging thing very selfish and more journal or diary like than I had originally planned it to be.

So, if there is anyone out there who comes across this blog and takes even a passing interest in it, please let me know that I am not totally alone in this :)

The Art of Perfection

I want to be a writer, more specifically I'd like to be a journalist. So, logically you'd think that a blog and blogging regularly would be a perfect way, if not to get myself out there in the journalistic world, then to at least get used to writing on a regular occasion. Unfortunately, that has not turned out to be the case. I started this blog with the best of intentions- to blog at least once a week. The reality has been somewhat different.

In the past, I've put this down largely to laziness. However, recently upon thinking about it I think it has more to do with my wanting to be a perfectionist. While in my head I tend to be very articulate, when it comes to putting pen to paper (or fingers to typing) I agonise over every word, wanting it to come out 'just right' - to make sure that I sound intelligent and witty. Consequently, I spend more time thinking about what I'm going to write rather than actually writing.

This also makes me doubt my ability to actually be a journalist. I mean, a journalist needs to be able write a lot, in a short space of time, under pressure, to a deadline. So although perfectionism can be an asset, in this case I see it more as a hindrance.

So, in an attempt to get over my striving for perfection in writing, I once again make a resolution to myself to blog once a week, even if I've nothing to blog about. Nothing left to do but wait and see how it pans out this time.

The Bronze Horseman

For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed picking up a book and immersing myself in a story, removing myself from the world that I live in and plunging into another.

When you tell people that you love to read, inevitably they ask, "what is your favourite book", and for a long time I didn't really know how to answer that. Instead of naming any single book, I'd list authors that I enjoy, but a few years (or more) ago I read a book that I truly fell in love with, and which I continue to love today. That book was The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons.

As it says on the back cover it is an epic tale about love, war and Russia. But to me the core of the novel is its love story between Tatiana and Alexander. They are two people who, arguably should not be together, who should not share a love, yet they do, and seeing them over-come the obstacles that love and family and duty throw at them, to continue and maintain that love, is what holds the attraction of The Bronze Horseman for me.

And perhaps, you may argue, that so many love stories are about exactly that, and therefore, what makes this one any different from the others. And I guess the answer to that, or at least my answer, is: personal opinion. As with any book, why one person loves it can be the same reason another person hates it. For me, the love story of Tatiana and Alexander (and in the ensuing sequels The Bridge to Holy Cross and The Summer Garden) is not just part of The Bronze Horseman it IS the book. It is what makes the book what it is.

So, I say, give it a go. It may not be your cup of tea and it is lengthy, but I ask you to make the effort and you may just surprise yourself and fall in love as I did :)

Life as a Nanny

As of January 5th this year, I've been working as a Nanny for a family in Wandsworth, London. I'd never done this sort of care-giving prior to landing this job. I'd done basic things, babysitting, looking after younger siblings and other family members, but nothing as serious as this.

So, for the past four months, I've been treading the waters of being a London nanny. For the most part I really enjoy it. I've been lucky enough to get an incredible family, one which wants to include me in their family, rather than simply seeing me as an employee. The mother, in particular is lovely- very kind, caring and keen to make sure I am continually happy. At times it's like living with my mother, or an aunt or some other female relative. And for the most part the kids are really good, though twin-four-years are certainly a handful! But the prospect of a unexpected hug or funny comment makes up for any tantrums and difficult moments.

One of the things that has stood out for me, at least to date, is the number of 'constants' that I have come across since starting nannying.

I constantly have stickers on my clothes. And go out in public without removing them.

I constantly have things in my pockets- marbles, small toys, toothpaste tubes.....

I constantly (and consistently) wake up at 6.30AM, or earlier, five days a week. You'd think I'd have adjusted to this sleeping pattern by now, but I am still tired a lot of the time.

And finally, but by no means least, I am constantly reminded how hard it is to be a parent. And how I am so very much not ready to be one!

Long time, no blog

Well, I started this blog as a way to get myself writing on a regular basis. As a wanna-be journalist is seems important to me to be writing, so as to get used to doing so.

However, as with all efforts to achieve this goal, I've failed miserably. I'm not entirely sure why this is. I would guess that a lot if it has to do with laziness- not being bothered to sit down and write something regularly, but also the fact that I don't have a lot of time and that I feel I need to have something to write about in order to actually write. Perhaps it's also the fact that I feel that this blog is really only read by myself so in actuality I'm writing to myself, which, if that is the case, makes it little more than a diary, and hence, little more than self-indulgence.

So, I guess perhaps I'll try again. Start small, maybe blogging once or twice a week about what I've been up to, things that have caught my attention or have created an impact on me during the week. Perhaps it'll mostly be just complete rambling, random thoughts, much as this post has been. Whatever the ensuing result, at least I will be writing something. And that, in truth, is better than writing nothing at all.